New Rules!

Someone asked me to re-write my profile because the old one was getting stale.  I think it was a challenge to see how fast my profile turn-around is.  

Ten minutes...tops!

Here it goes guys...

NEW RULES!

IF you are a bi-guy and want me to watch you mess around with your transvestite BFF...the answer is "Yuck...and no."

IF you are any other variety of freak...the answer is "No".  Feet and tickle freaks need not apply...what do I look like, "Tickle Me Elmo"?

IF you like bowling, Nascar, Monster Trucks, motorcycles, tattoos....or you are posing with Minnie Mouse, Hello Kitty or Winnie the Pooh...I have not changed my mind.  The answer is still "No".  

IF you have a kidney stone on our date and mistake it for gas and take me enema shopping...I won't want a second date.  The answer is "no".

IF you have a bullet hole in your head...or you haven't shaved your beard in 10 years and look like a Duck Dynasty Chia Pet...the answer is "No"

IF you message me weekly for a year with more than a five paragraph message and I have never spoken to you...the answer is "No"

IF you stalk me in my local supermarket and you mysteriously recognize me in sweatpants, a sweatshirt, no make-up and my hair up...and you are from PA...the answer is "No".  (BTW...it's also "No" even if you just plain old ARE from PA...you don't have to also be a stalker).  

Lastly...IF you take your cat to the racetrack on a purple leash and take a picture of yourself...and post it on a dating site...like cats are supposed to enjoy that and women are supposed to like you because you are kind to animals...the answer is a big, fat "N.O."!

Everybody else can message me.